The Start of a new beginning.

After 4 years of camping in NTU, Hall 6, i am once again camping in the same place, however, with a beloved one. As she busies her day trying to bind things, i feel at this point in time a need to plan the immediate future.

Planning is a forte i never stop to do, and fail to achieve. But its all in the mind, and i guess this time round i'm really gonna secure this thing. :)

Cheers to Love!

Its Been 15 Years.

And yes, i found someone whom i knew 15 years ago, yet never had a good chance to catch up and have some quality time. This time, F1's opportunities, a sit down by the river, a good movie in Donnie Yen's Chen Zhen, 3 good simple dinners, and of course, alot of care and concern kinda made sure it was more than just memorable.

Fantastic. Stars are shining. i guess. hahaha. :)

Meeting People

It can't be a harrowing experience u know? especially the chinese in china! not only that, somehow, opportunities have started coming in and paving the way for a possible revenue showcase by the end of the year.

I really do hope things can be better for now, and i felt that i've been having a good life so far. Some thoughts i always wanted to share, and i just felt that whenever i start typing, those thoughts start seeping away.

Resonation Concert is coming, it would be totally fake if i tell u that we are totally ready, cos i know we are not, and we have to make some magic out of it. i really hope its worth the effort for the kids and i hope we can move on to greater things from there. fingers crossed on that.

You tend to meet alot of people on the streets, off the roads, and even open yourselves up to potential danger. u know what? somehow its starting to let me understand the ideal of really meeting someone whom i would spend the rest of my life with, by meeting with more people! getting to know 1-2 does not represent the society, when u talk about 50 different people, yes, then that's a slight difference. ultimately, its premature and i have a few targets to fulfill as of right now, and i plan to hit all those targets.

here i come.

The Rain, and the peace afterwards.

At first i thought that things were mad! ridiculous! when it happened. Immense emotions such as disappointment and sadness sets in, and u start to ask yourself why this had to happen. Then again, after that, once ur brain is tired of thinking, u start to feel more relaxed. Like nothing much actually happened.

This is the true power of words. The ability to manipulate the mind into thinking negative issues and ultimately making things look horrid and terrible if it happens to be offensive.

Sometimes, u just got to let go of words, let go of what egos they themselves have, let go of them putting their weight on u, and start to work things out yourself. Ultimately, when u are successful, nothing can stand in your way.

I'm damn pretty sure on that.

Let things be the way it is right now

Just came back from Genting, feeling a wee bit more tired, bu a bit more refreshed nonetheless. Didn't really win money from the casinos, and was feeling groggy especially after a 6 hour bus ride home.

Things are moving on board the ship, and of course expansions in the form of interns are important. also, i have been trying to make sure that the course of my lifestyle does not skew too much to the extreme, and i'm glad everything is coming back to normal this coming week.May the coming week be a smooth one for me.

Phew.

Alvin.

Its about understanding people

You know i have been meeting way too many people from too many different countries that i'm not exactly sure if i'm in Singapore anymore. From different joints in Singapore to the offices where i get to meet every single different person. Its surprising to see the different ways u as a Singaporean get treated by different people.
For me, knowing people like Jha jha,it changes my perspective totally about myself, and the world.
Thanks.
I will move on with much more confidence now. I don't need to turn back anymore.

I have one event and after which, i contracted preliminary asthma. what the heck. i think its the triple whammy. its been a long time since i last felt like that man. but it doesn't matter. I feel like i'm going to recover soon, and i pray for this recovery.

Wednesday - Maybe Tomorrow.

It didn't begin really well for me today. Because of a slight rising in the illness as well as some stupid incidents happening that really taught me now to really advise, and give advice as well as guide people who are WORTH the guidance. Business ain't a very fun thing to begin with. U need balls of fire and faith worth gold to carry on whatever u believe in.

Understanding how O****** began and its backings, i began to believe in many many things coming. I hope somehow there is something good in store for me soon yea?

I hope my cough can recover so that i can concentrate on singing. And yea. today was a day of revelations too! most of them happening at night. so yea. shan't say more. Its to contemplate on many many things. :)

Another Day at Home.

Well, it ain't really the healthiest me now, and i am striving very hard to keep myself back on the fitness track, so what i did was i made an effort to go to the supermarket to get ham, eggs and cereals for breakfast, since its supposed to be the most important meal of the day.

Spent another day at home feeling how good sometimes being home can be, and of course resting my soul as well as my body, especially after a gruelling camp.
Somehow i just felt that not much people my age would take up this role and carry on running with the campers and stuff. At least i know a few who cant.hahah.

An evening spent walking around Tampines Central really made me realised that it was the first time since dunno when i am able to slow down the pace and laze around the mall after the clinical visit, and felt like i am in the heartlands again.
Cool.But yet, somehow things have been running in my head. The next few weeks would be hectic, and of course, interesting! why not man? will fill u in more. Right now, i gotta rest before 2am!

Sunday Simplicity

1 Basketball court, 2 patches of grass no larger than half a basketball court, and there are 6 teams, probably more waiting by the sidelines, playing the world's popular game, Soccer. World Cup Fever is definitely on, as i brought Lucky along with me in an evening run around the neighborhood and saw the people playing their hearts out. Lucky was happy with the run, and i was happy to let go of life's daily pressures in that run.

Came home and felt that sometimes, being at home for a day or two ain't that bad after all, since i was able to play some PC games and catch up with some J-Doramas. :)

At night, joined the gang for a movie, Toy Story (bet u din see it coming) and honestly, what i got from that outing was a very normal, yet warm feeling of being able to enjoy a simple event with a few friends.

Tomorrow's going to be a refreshing day.
Sometimes, i wonder if i am too forthcoming in inviting another relationship to happen asap, or should i just step back and chill a little in many situations. I'm just worried, somehow i won't be able to be with the person/girl that i really wanna be with, cos this approach really makes me looking at 'any' girl that comes along. and even carry on the approach? thats some how totally wrong eh?
so i guess, it has to come naturally. and i'll take this new approach then.

Gambatte-riyo!

A quiet Saturday

Was supposed to go for a birthday party, to be exact, Pearly's birthday party.
But was kinda unwell. No, was extremely unwell till i concussed for 18 hours before waking up. My body really needs some good and powerful conditioning to begin with.

I probably will drop by around 8 plus to go wish her a happy birthday.

The last two weeks have been really hectic.
Of course, Camp LIONS has been the one that took out nearly 85% of my physical and mental strengths, but the outcome and product was admirable and excellent, with all leaders from 10 different youth groups coming together and really bonding well.
I appreciate the fact that many youth groups are inspired after that.

Its going to be SHINE 2010 soon and i am equally excited as i would say i am the assisting co-events director for the opening ceremony and this would add into my resume quite aptly, further beefing up my credentials for events.

Two weeks passed and many friends thought long lost were re-found again. And one or two of them are getting engaged, previous relationships i mean. I'm truly happy for them, and would wish them happiness. However, it also came to my attention two friends who either ended their near-marriage relationships or are doubtful about the future. You really can't blame their mindsets, especially since the world's everchanging culture influences their every decision makings. For one, who turns out single, probably she's exploring possibilities now and yeap, there's a part in me that was saying 'hey look at me!'hahah... but another part which is reserved also prefers to allow her to take a look at the world before stepping into her life.
The other lady is a strong, active and fun person. And i must say she has the capability to turn a relationship colorful. I would've chosen her if conditions are right. But yea. if conditions are right, that's the key words.
Someone from the past came back and chatted with me. Well in a sense, since i activated that conversation. Its been.. 4-5 years? since we last chatted. And i must say, its another weight put down nicely.
As of now, the heart is fresh and free. So i feel positive about everything. Its now down to my fitness and credentials. important elements in my life. And yes. graduation.

I kinda like this Saturday. :)

Keeping loved ones closer

Recently mum's been acting strange, i sorta realised the attention i've been giving to her have wavered because of my busy schedules. Well, i gotta keep her close to me, and protect her, as much as my sis and my dad. no matter how they are now.

My friends have been there, and will always be there, its how i am that chases them away, rather than things that they have done.
A loved one, will always stay and stand by you, no matter what. i hope to find one that does that. i will be there for these people. thru thick and thin.

Its been tight, these few weeks, time has been taking a toll. but i'm enjoying every moment of it!

then again, what is still going through my mind was that of my mum's undying love and support when i was in depression. thanks mum.

Big Win! and many thoughts.

Its probably been over a month since i decided to type this post. and i feel many thought are running through at this point. So u gotta read into it to know yea?

SBM
Camp LIONS rumbled about 7 of us into rooms, areas, shopping places just to get us the things needed. Apart from the financial challenges, i guess the team really gelled up well. Probably needa make some aspirations for them to meet Camp LIONS with a giant killer mindset and set the youth industry moving. Its up to us.
Dhamma camp is tomorrow, and i'm cooking! hahahahaha. so i hope everything is fine.
I like the place, in fact its a second home to me.
The friends there are invaluable, and no matter how many years i've been apart, i will never leave it.

Emceeing
Its been rosy, apparently a faculty has gotten me into their events fray, and i hope to branch out from there. fingers crossed! and thanks shimei and pohshen!

Career
Within 3 weeks, i repaid the company who gave me the opportunity with a 120k project in Shine 2010! I once again proved my nickname as 'Event Lancer' because of my strike rate in projects with stellar presentations. I've been happy on board this cruise ship called O------ and i don't mind sticking around for another 6 months man.
It makes me feel that my decision was ultimately right, and i still stick to it that working with relatives will never be in my options anytime soon.

Love Life
Its official that i am not exactly looking for one that soon. But recently a situation actually arrived only recently, and there was lot of care and concern showered upon the other party from me. There is reciprocation, and i felt comfortable with her. Yet, at the same time, wary because of my past love experiences that compelled me away from trying anything fantastic or spectacular. As of now, the timeline of 6 months also gives me the opportunity, to, if given the chance, to know her better, to gauge the possibility, and finally, to give myself the feeling of stability in career and income. But yea, there is positivity in my feelings towards her. Not yet 'like', yet not stopping at admiration. The approach of likeness, is continuous, yet stable and steady.

The next few weeks would e busy and key for me! so i hope you guys are able to catch me at my best and busiest! cheers!

Its never been better.

For once, i felt liberated from alot of things. Probably very gullible in the past, but here i am looking forward to the future. I want to really be remunerated, repaid properly, and most importantly, do the things i have always wanted to do, and the past few weeks, i'm happy with what i have seen. i've got myself quite a few friends being there, and i'm just, truly happy.



so, i needa chill more, and probably set myself on course for the next crucial half year.

Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough..

So it happened. I am recovering swiftly, yet still attached my negative emotions in a milder sense. I am glad Zeming and Yuanyi had time to share with me during the evenings to keep me away from the silent home and surroundings.
I am single again. and i hope the next one, will come once i'm ready to commit to it fully. Both financially and career, as well as physically and mentally.

This time, i wanna do what i have always loved to do. Its never too late. I believe.

To that particular individual that shared two years of my life with: I thank you for the happy memories, and i wish u and hope u are more well and happy than now. Its alright about all the misunderstandings and if it really did stand in our way, i can only say its part of life. And probably our paths crossed during your transition period, and your religion also stood in my religion in many avenues. I wish u to go back and do your youth work at CHC, and i stand by my own faith, even stronger than before now.

Thank you. And i will miss you for the times we had. But for now, i will forge on, with a new purpose i will discover after my exams, and onto the next phase of my life.

The Pacific: The Other 'Happy Birthday Song'

I wonder how fighting warriors of another country would be. I wonder about carrying an M4 Carbine, or a SAW, and with a group of foolhardy friends and buddies called Singaporeans, we are able to fight off all armies.

That's one thing i'm blessed not to go through it for now. And i pray that this peace carries on.
The Pacific, drama in HBO. gotta catch it guys.

The Morning Air

The only time i was able to enjoy breathing in fresh morning air at 7am, is when i managed to live through the night without sleeping.

its fresh.

1 month. A big Challenge

Hey guys,

i felt the days have been relatively peaceful. Rather, i would pray more that i can just pass my final semester and pass my exams.
Phew. I really really hope man.

Anyways, everything's going fine around now and i hope that this calm is brought forward all the way to after my exams, and i do hope to immediately take up a job so that i can pay back whatever i can to the 'bills' i might have accumulated.

I really hope that there would be another opportunity for me to move into the production scenes and to also make my mark somewhere in the singapore scene. if given a chance.

Thats all for now. the coming week's gonna be important in clearing most of the homework i have outstanding. PLEASE. GIVE ME MY STRENGTH. hahaha.

alvin

Just a few thoughts

Well, there were definitely a whole host of things happening in the events co. side now, especially after all the hoo-hah about what exactly happened at cultural night and how the jam band and dance actually saved yin sync and the whole concert per say, with alot of management mishaps and stuff. I sure do hope that Resonation ain't going to be the same way it is for many fronts.

Anyways, as long as your partners are just working with each other professionally, i definitely feel the rift and its really tough to lay in between wondering whats going to come forward for this deal. To blame a person's character is bad, and to really pin point their mistakes is not being fair to their efforts. All i can say is that, probably the choice made should be even more sharper.
Thats the feel i'm getting. Its about trust in the friendship, and lately, its too many small small moves that allow me to misunderstand, or even to a larger extent, prove my intuition about certain individuals. How bad can that go man!

Somehow, i feel that certain friendships are going far, yet some of them are really going further down the drain. Not enough time for them = not enough time to bond = no help in the friendship.
So it happens. Especially when u choose to live in such a complicated society like Singapore and a complicated environment in the midst of complicated people who have somehow thought that they are 'affluent'.

Keeping yourselves to know more people, however, becomes a priority, where networks are solidly important in the world today. Somehow u just have a feeling this ain't going to be working well and all u have to do is pull out conveniently with no slightest bit of contact. Thats cool. Probably thats what many people are doing now.

Which is why i am glad i have a close group of khakis that i can share my woes and happiness with.
That being said, its where i begin my next period in life and how i choose to begin, that is paramount to the rest of my life.

Too many people with knowledge affluence equivalent to the level of a degree grad are changing jobs after finding out their initial choices ain't working out, ain't going up, and ain't moving. i can't blame them, except maybe with an astute judgment and an eagle eye, the career u should be choosing at first shouldn't be something u 'wanna experiment.'
it ain't wrong to do that, but then again, u will never have a 110% mentality the moment u have that job. get it? makes perfect sense right? its about effort i guess, and how ur mentality pushes u.
I applaud u if u are one of those that can differentiate between switching choices and effort. It pours out after two of my closer friends change to want to go into the teaching profession, same as me, but at least, i know that PE teaching is cool and i wanna carry on doing it. so kudos to choice making! and no regrets! Probably too early to say. hahahaha.

I really wonder what my first class of students would find about me if i am a teacher.

Okay, gotta go, the drinks at the wedding dinner was really heavy, and i wish the groomsmen all the best in their hangovers. Well, for some. hahaha. cheers and move on to graduation!

Didn't Really Feel Great.

For once, in my life time during NTU, i quite being involved in Cultural Night 2010. And it did came out as a revelation to me. Probably because i felt that i am always needed to be there to secure the performances.
It wasnt a really great feeling to miss it, but it ain't neccesarily a bad feeling not to be there for the first time. And yes, this time, it really felt like... it was nothing much to me already. Probably because of everything that has happened. I really feel this time round, there was no need for me to go influence the movement of the concert.

Tomorrow's Resonation, another of the music groups that i have painstakingly brought up from the starters. YAC, Resonation, Yin Sync, Cultural... the legacy carries on. These shows are really what brought me up as an executive producer that i am today. But yes, i can really feel that the lessons learnt were valuable enough for me to bring out the best in the future people that i am going to bring out of their shadows.

Yet, hahah. i am really laughing to myself when i say this, and i really mean it. Its the appreciation, or the lack of it. really. probably getting too used to NO appreciation really doesn't mean its OK getting none. Now, the fundamental things i look for appreciation are just that as long as they bring the best out of themselves in performance, i would've kinda secured my duties and be, probably happy.

And then i have cheated myself out of more than like .... let me count..... 7 performing arts chances? so that i can train others? There are sacrifices to make man. but then its up to the individual to decide when to come in and when to leave, and when u leave, dun ask for anything more. Thats practically, what i did today. and it wasnt easy, let me tell u that. cos u know when u look in their eyes, they hope. that u are present, so that u can inspire them in their songs to be better. And i know, i can do that. Yet, i removed myself, having a mini realisation that, probably i just need to have a break from everything for a good week, like how i have been enjoying today.

U know after saying all these, somehow u wanna carry on what u are doing, because u know, u have made a difference in more than 100 lives because of music. And that feels good, cos you always know that whatever you do, even though some of those 100 lives would never be able to appreciate, u still made a mammoth effort in bringing people together, strengthening the faith in themselves, via the best medium in the world. Music.

And yes, i Bring Music to Your Life.
I won't stop. and the best thing is, u know u can make miracles out of it.

3 more weeks, and i breathe easier. FYP, projects, presentations, reviews, field notes. haha last semester. thats the deal.

For the First Time.

For the first time i attempted script-writing and management of a hall production, and it was a roaring success, 95% occupancy rate in attendance, and my mum got to perform! so i felt filial and happy! hahah.

For the first time, i am not involved in Cultural Night 2010. Even though i had imagined myself to be able to sing my final song in front of many of my friends, i am preparing to deny myself that opportunity for more important stuff, like FYP. right? it is the right choice.

For the first time, i place my trust in Yeow Chong and Meng Kuan to write a script for the very first story of the concert in August! My guts are wrenching, but i kinda need to give them a chance to do things on the big stage! If not, when would that opportunity come? Honestly?
The rest of the performers are first timers and i really hope that it not only helps to increase their confidence, their stage performance, their vocals, but also helps to bond them together, show their parents they are talented, and also most importantly, make it a power show as a Buddhist Organization. I know, i can do it. But i'm putting all my trust, in the rest of them.So please, jia you.

FYP is holding back and i am trying to attempt typing it out tomorrow, hopefully securing 5000 words at the end of the day. My target must not be compromised. I have done presentation for HS 318 now, and i feel good to do the rest of my work. Jia You! FINAL SEMESTER LE AND GRADUATION BECKONS!

Jam Entertainment is of to a flying start as enquiries are coming in swift. I hope to slowly but surely claim a share of the market after two years. Yea? :) Cheers.

Alvin.

Happy New Year Pull Your Ear!

Just when i thought mum and dad's squabbling's going to spoil the day, a nice taxi uncle who picked me up spoke to me about being happy, and as the topic of the squabble was just a pot which was needed to carry the popiah's main ingredients and we don't have a big one, i needed to get a big one after that squabble... i felt what the uncle said about just being happy with what you have, and be mindful of not getting involved in 'anger' when its not directed at u, is important. It surely lightened up my mood and when i went back home, i carried on the continuous 4 hour packing up. I guarantee those who are coming to my house tomorrow, are going to have a blast!

So, here goes 3 days of great new year, and back to the hectic schedule, in fact, the next two weeks are the most crucial weeks of my life. and i really freaking mean it.


Happy New Year Peeps.

I need to excrete

In the space time of 4 days, my passion for hall officially died. two silly gullible individuals, forgetting about the very foundations i have set for them in order for them to reach this status, have turned their backs and just like infested cats having just eaten sick rotten goo from trash cans, they bite you at the most unexpected moments, just like how two arrows are to turn their original direction towards your bodily construct.

Then, if that is not enough, imagine your girlfriend coming to tell you that the mum expects things from me even before i start working, things like expensive hampers for gifts during CNY, when in the freaking first place, i haven't had a chance to take care and pamper my own mother.

What kinda freaking logic is in this world right now? I really feel like there's nothingness that understands my POV, and i feel right now's the right time to step away and just forget about every single thing.

And probably, that what i'm going to do.

Lets see what happens next. Instead of judging situations, situations, and worse still, people have chose to stress me.

Better shake it off.

its toxic.